So, I’ve been MIA from just about all social media for about a month now, with the exception of Twitter, for a number of reasons. I’ve received numerous texts, Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, etc. from several people wondering why I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I figure it is easier to write a blog, than try to explain in individual messages. But for the record, thank you so much for your messages and for checking in on me. I will of course send each of you messages just to catch up, but for the ultimate explanation… here you go:
September 15 started a spiral of events in my life. My Mimi passed away from a long fight with Parkinson’s Disease. I apologize for not letting anyone know really. It was probably inconsiderate of me not to let anyone know so they could support me at the funeral and etc. But everything happened very quickly because we had prepared for that day since her health started declining quickly in mid July. I didn’t even have time to inform my pastor in Tuscaloosa of the passing. I was surrounded by family, my best friend, and our closest family friends at her funeral. Thank you for your words of kindness and thoughts. Although her passing was expected, the loss is still difficult and weighs heavy, especially with so many significant events occurring that I know she would have LOVED hear about and experience.
After she passed, me and my boyfriend broke up, another loss that weighed heavy in such a trying time. After two such large events happening in the same week, I had a lot of loss to overcome and strength to regain. But as usual, life continued.
On my grandmother’s 73rd birthday, 8 days after her passing, God started working in my life. While I’m sure He was working on my heart in those 8 days, He really started moving on her birthday. I’ve started a new job in September working with a great lady literally living out one of my dreams. It’s been an amazing experience, and I cannot wait to see where else this opportunity is going to take me. Aside from working a job that I love, I also got a new calling at Capstone Agency, the student-run PR firm I intern for at UA. I was moved to account executive of a very large account. While taking over the account only two weeks before the pitch proved to be significantly difficult and time-consuming, I’m so excited to tell you that it went great. Thursday, I pitched to the director of integrated marketing communications for a multi-million dollar corporation. I have not had more than 6 hours of sleep in 3 weeks, I’ve drank at least 3 cups of coffee per day and I’ve been at the office more than I’ve been at my apartment. I’ve napped on the floors of Reese Phifer, I’ve survived my first ear-infection and hole in my ear drum, I’ve overcome obstacles, I’ve lead an amazing team of 9 people, and I’ve made some of the best memories of my life. It’s been spectacular. It’s been amazing. It’s been challenging. It’s been the best experience thus far in my life, and I’m only 20.
I’ve also become a certified Zumba instructor and made 4 great friends while dancing for 9 hours straight. I’ve met a number of international students, all of whom I introduced to the real southern accent (apparently my southern drawl is even more significantly southern than the rest of UA) and good coffee. I’m preparing for my first gala in Chicago on my 21st birthday. And I’ve got two huge clients I’m working for next semester, possibly three. The best is yet to come.
Life has thrown me a curve ball. It hit me in the gut and tried to knock me down. It hurt. It left a bruise that’s still healing. But I’m still standing.
God is within her. She will not fail.
Sometimes you ignore God long enough because he is asking for change. He is begging and pleading for you to make that change. He gives you chance after chance, sign after sign that something is not right. But you don’t listen because you’re comfortable. Life is easy. While life may not be perfect, at least you know what to expect. Especially in college when life is so unpredictable, when you find something that is predictable and comfortable, it’s hard not to hold on.
So then God has to step in and make the change you refused to make yourself. Sometimes it takes people months to get over stuff like this, for them to see the positives, and to understand what the bigger picture is. But if we open our eyes and listen to some of the things happening around us, you get a glimpse of that overall picture.
For instance, relationships can alter dreams…big dreams. While I may still have been able to move to New York or Seattle while in a relationship, chances were slim to none that he could have followed. So at that point you have to pick between something comfortable and a dream that is out of your comfort zone in a city hundreds of miles away and alone. Too many dreams fall apart at this fork in the road.
Great things never happened in comfort zones.
Since that week, I have had so many opportunities presented to me that I have taken advantage of. Those opportunities will get me my dream job in my dream city someday. Not only that, but I’ve met people with those exact dreams in those exact cities. I’ve met people with my same personality, worked on the same project together and developed friendships that can only be made at 2 a.m. in the basement of a 80 year old building that was a bomb shelter in WWII. Friendships that can only be made running away from a drunk guy who was chasing you at 3 a.m. on your walk to the car.
Because I took those opportunities, I have met some of the people that I will see in NYC and Seattle. I will know people there, I will have friends, and it won’t be so uncomfortable chasing a dream.
You’ll turn out ordinary if you’re not careful.
As far as my heart goes, it’s still healing. The little things remind me of my grandmother nearly all the time, and I really just want her to be here so I can see her smile when I tell her what’s happening in my life. She was my biggest cheerleader, especially when it came to my career. She wanted to hear all 850 comments from my letter to Cade Foster. “Another one, another one.” She would get so excited. I still haven’t watched an episode of Big Bang Theory. Sometimes it hits me all over again. As far as a man, I’ve got my daddy, my brother and my poppy and papaw who are the only men I need because they support each and every one of my dreams. And right now I’m focused on guarding my dreams.
Success is not for the lazy.
My warning is for all the college and high school girls out there with big dreams or those going through a breakup that just can’t understand why… Listen to God and let Him work in your life. Things will start to fall in place. It may take a month or six or maybe even a year, but He’s still there, He’s just working on something really big.